I know you will consider this too incredible to believe, but you must!  The future of the world is at stake.  This letter is from my future self, sent back through the time continuum to my present self - thanks to the help of a few alien friends.  Even they believe it is critical that interventions must be made at this point in the continuum to prevent future economic and personal tragedy.

I have little time to write this before the window closes, and I am encouraged to emphasize my personal experience in this unfortunate series of events, so here is the future we must change today.

As you know, it all began with Microsoft's predatory monopolization of the computer industry.  Shortly into the first days of your present century, Microsoft received only a slap on the wrist for its behavior - even though many thought this corporate monolith should have been broken up to end the Microsoft monopoly.  It didn't happen!  At that time, Microsoft was already involved in the broadcast industry and had begun to make early inroads at the used car end of the automotive industry.  Then it happened before we had a clue. I heard it on public radio.

Microsoft bought Ford.  Some say it was an embarrassing, knee-jerk response to Microsoft's ill-thought new millennium advertising slogan: "Wherever you go, we'll take you there."  Purchase of an entire car industry seemed like an easy solution at first.  My reaction was a personal one, as I have been a faithful Ford driver for many years.  You'd think I would have learned from my experiences over the years with Microsoft software, but no.  I'm an idiot.  When the old Ford Probe wore out after 180 thousand miles, I traded it in on a Microsoft-Ford: a 2004  M-F Explorer 2.1, to be exact.

From the beginning, there were problems.  I had wanted something small and sporty again after a long line of spiffy little Escorts and the Probe, but no -  Microsoft-Ford wouldn't have that.  Only in America could you make a bunch of big boxes on wheels, give them a fancy name like SUV, and have almost everybody wanting to rush out to buy one.  Well, Microsoft-Ford ceased production of everything but their SUV line.  We thought it was a joke when the rumor came out that Microsoft-Ford planned to make the ultimate vehicle - one that would make all other vehicles on the road obsolete and unnecessary . . . or at least incapable of continued existence.

Could I help it if I had to trade at the exact time the first model of the M-F Explorer was released?  They called it the 2.1 out of respect for the first Ford Explorer, but the vehicle was completely different.  Actually, it was the prototype for their future ultimate M-F SUV, but they didn't say that.  My suspicions began to grow when I discovered that Ford Research and Development had been integrated with Customer Service as the new Consumer Research and Underhanded Development Department.  My new SUV was reputed to be the first release of that CRUD-D project.  And my initial experience with the car confirmed the suspicions I had at the time I bought it.  (I told you, I'm an idiot.)

I had two tire blowouts the first time I drove the car.  I was relieved to discover they were Goodrich Tires until I discovered Microsoft had bought Goodrich (Bill Gates liked the name).  They had reduced tire-wall thickness to save production costs as one of their CRUD-D Market and drown out the music. When I tried to shut down the M-F player, the dash lights would light up in blue and the vehicle would stop.  I wonder why the stereo finally began working.  I wonder when it will stop again.

Anyway, I had to give up on the Firestone tires and re-install the M-F ones - which was difficult due to all the patches hiding the Key Codes on the tire rims.  "I can do this," I told myself.  I had learned to live with Microsoft software, so surely I could learn to live with Microsoft-Ford.  Then, more problems struck.  First, there was the security problem in which the digital-microwave door-locks popped up whenever somebody operated a mobile phone within 20 feet of the car.  Actually, a Norton software patch from Symantec fixed that, so the door-locks no longer had to be operated manually.

When the alternator failed, I was so fed-up that I tried installing a superior after-market alternator - but the wiring harness burned and fused together.  That was strange . . . it reminded me of how the circuitry fused up in my house security remote after I put it on my M-F key chain.  I was able to replace the wiring harness, but the alternator was no longer available.  I would have to buy the upgrade version of the Microsoft-Ford Explorer 2.1 . . . but lucky me, I could get a 30% upgrade discount just by scrapping my present model and turning in the vehicle's 342 component Key Codes!  Having spent so much money on their software over the years, I had not a clue as to how I would afford the upgrade M-F model.

I was there when Microsoft-Ford unveiled their new upgrade model, their ultimate SUV, the M-F Explorer LookOut.  Actually, I watched it all while standing in front of an appliance store TV display, since the fates of my life had returned me to foot transportation. I saw it on a new wide-wide screen TV and it wasn't pretty.  By this time, much of the world had come to resent Microsoft-Ford as many of the other car manufacturers were literally rolling under the tires of this corporate monster.  The LookOut was originally designed over a Hum-Vee frame, but stretched and widened as would be becoming of the ultimate SUV.  In a way, it was the
ultimate American statement of power and affluence for anyone who could afford it.  It was a stock "monster-SUV" that squashed the left half of any little punk-vehicle that was arrogant enough to approach within six feet of the centerline.  This was the ultimate Microsoft-Ford, and besides, nothing else needed to be on the highway anyway.

There on wide-wide screen TV was Bill Gates, present for the unveiling.  Behind him, the knobby arc of a tire loomed over his shoulders as he proudly announced the unveiling of his new product.  Few were prepared for the unveiling of an added feature, though rumors had circulated that it was in the works.  Gravitic-drive propulsion had been announced to the world over the past year and Microsoft-Ford had promptly bought the rights.  Everybody knew that soon M-F vehicles would be not the first, but the only ones, to be passing overhead.

After the behemoth SUV had been properly introduced, amid bubbly admissions that it was truly too huge to get into some places that really mattered (like the average driveway), Microsoft Bill gleefully gestured at the remaining mystery before him.  "This," he said, "Is the new M-F FlutterBug!" Not an eye was diverted as the much smaller veil dropped away from a curious-looking vehicle that Bill announced as both a replacement for the motorcycle and the personal helicopter. He said it was actually an attachment to the larger vehicle, "Perfectly integrating with the rear-deck quarters of the M-F Explorer LookOut SUV."  There was no question that this add-on was meant to compensate for the sizable parent vehicle and serve as a teaser for consumer research straight from the CRUD-D folks. From my perspective, looking at the wide-wide screen, it looked rather like a Microsoft mouse with windows, but I have to admit to feeling impressed - especially when Bill announced he was going to give the world a demonstration.

Lifting a door that looked like a big left-click button, Bill stepped gingerly into the vehicle and disappeared into its interior.  First, a window popped open as the wrap-around Dashboard PC booted up with the latest Windows M-F software.  Then the FlutterBug shot around the parking area in tiny little circles.  (At the time, we thought this was a normal part of the demonstration and not the first actual tragic indicator of how buggy the FlutterBug was.)

Next, the M-F Flutterbug raced down a side street, all cameras following, toward a row of parked cars.  Our hearts were in our throats as the 'Bug suddenly climbed into the air, six feet off the ground, and passed over the row of cars.  "Now for the passing demonstration . . . " Bill's voice called out over the loudspeakers.

I'm sure, as the M-F FlutterBug worked its way out to the Interstate, my mind wasn't the only one aware of what was about to happen.  In a few moments, in one fell swoop, automobile passing would be made obsolete forever - and Microsoft-Ford would be the only company possessing the technology.  The Browser Wars of the late 20th Century would look like a kindergarten rumble in comparison as all other automobile manufacturers were rolled-over by Microsoft-Ford.  Somehow, it didn't seem right.

The aerial view of the mouse-like vehicle zipping along the Interstate was unnerving.  First, it rolled along on the ground, approaching other vehicles from the rear like any other car.  Then, when conventional passing was not feasible, it rose into the air and passed vehicles from overhead.  Again and again, it demonstrated the same feat, almost as if to mock the inferior vehicles passing rearward beneath it.  Then the tragedy struck.

It was the first time we found out about the "180-lock-up hover bug" in the DLL files of the FlutterBug version of Windows M-F software.  One second, FlutterBug was zipping along several feet off the ground, the next, it froze in mid-air and turned 180 degrees to face back up the highway.  Just then, a 26-wheeler tractor-trailer happened along.  I winced before the impact and, therefore, didn't actually see the accident.  Mercifully, they didn't show replays on television either.

What sticks in my memory most is the TV interview of the 26 wheeler driver and his comments after the accident:  "Suddenly, I says to myself, 'What is this?  That's one hell of a bug!' Then I seen this guy inside an' his eyes was bigger 'n his glasses, then splat! Big splat! When I come to, I look out my busted window and says to myself, 'Whoever that was made the biggest bug anybody ever seen!'"

It was a sad epitaph.  Things really went downhill from there, though I have little time left to offer details.  The M-F Explorer LookOut went the way of the Spruce Goose (it was buggier than the FlutterBug) and the rest of the automotive industry was in such shambles that American transportation collapsed.  Economic depression followed until the eventual court-ordered break-up of Microsoft and Microsoft-Ford stimulated economic growth and a return to a more stable economy.

We still have a long way to go and most of us at this stage of your future would rather turn back the clock and do it differently.  After the break-up, innovation flourished without a monopoly to suck-up and swallow every new idea.  Somewhere in the bowels of Microsoft, some agent discovered the old Corel PerfectMedia expansion card that came with the pre-release of what would have been Corel's last Office Suite.  Surprisingly, it contained the initial time-travel circuitry for both the word-processor and e-mail client - as we've discovered so far - thus explaining your receipt of the present correspondence.

We hope we made the right decision on this side of the time continuum.  Everybody at MSNBC, MS-Time-Warner, MS-Disney/ABC, and MS-Paramount/Turner put their whole weight behind the effort; while the folks at MS-Ford and MS-Standard/Pillsbury hesitated somewhat.  Being an awesome writer of late bloom, I was elected to compose this critical communication.  Please heed our message!

Microsoft must not proceed into the 21st Century in its present form!  We shall all be spared great grief and heartache if the appropriate court order comes in early 2000, rather than further into the century!  Please do this for America and for the World.  Do it for Microsoft.  If nothing else, do it for Bill Gates so his bugs don't make him a bug on the windshield of some buggy 26 wheeler in your future!

The Time Window is closing/MS-Corel/Mattel/ What the heck are we going to do if you don't come through for us?  Please don't take these matters lightly.  The fate of the world is at stake, so we beg your serious consideration of our joint situation.  By the way, you know all the viruses and worms that we had to put up with at the end of the 20th Century? You'll never believe who was behind
some of ....................

Granville Angell

Copyright 1/14/2000 by Granville Angell.  All Rights Reserved except the following: Free immediate copying and distribution through all media, with author credit, without editing or modification, is authorized and requested.  Vending publishers must pay standard royalty unless this is distributed free of charge.